A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
Oh ffs -_-
Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! GO AWAY!
Bad head! Bad thoughts! Dark thoughts!
Leave me alone, I want to be happy! Is that too fucking much to ask for! Really!?
i hate it when you accidentally pick off a bit of dead skin on your lip and you can’t stop until you’ve peeled your entire face off
[incontrollable noises of want]
My dream room…
6 dollars for everything if you trade them in at gamestop
pff i’ll totally give you 7
I feel like being a girl comes with a lot of terms and conditions that i didn’t sign up for.
#painfulpleasures #tattoos #bodypiercings #piercings